Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Hobo Breath

This morning I fought the urge to take up permanent hibernation, pretty low motivation, you know?  I got up, made coffee and sloth-ed over to my recliner to cuddle with my computer and Bella, debating with myself over the pros and cons of going back to bed. 

JS got up on schedule and performed his 20 minute morning beautification routine and then his 10 minute bag loading business.  After loading his computer rucksack and strapping it carefully to his body he gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek to avoid my morning Hobo breath.  Sometimes he likes to throw in some growling or a loud smooch session just for Bella’s benefit.  She vehemently disapproves of any in-home PDA and usually begins barking and lunging for his fingertips as soon as he gets all rucksacked up for departure.

I know some of you are imagining punting my Baby Dog across the room right now, and you should be ashamed.  She was not a natural born killer and does not attack without provocation.  JS, even under the constant threat of a pending MF man punch, trained and coerced her fury.  Now her Skittle brain can only oscillate between extreme love and hate.

Any who, as JS was walking out the door this morning I asked him to unlock the garage so I could finish my laundry, and I followed him outside.  We have a covered, slightly obscured porch between our laundry room/garage and our front door, so it’s a common thing for me to dash across barefoot in my jammies.  JS says he’s not scared to go out there in his under-roo’s with a strategically placed laundry basket, but I have yet to capture any proof and/or post it on FB.

 So I changed over my laundry as JS started up his truck.  Walked back to the front door as JS pulled away from the curb.  Screamed in fright when the GD front door did not open.  Twisted the door knob harder and prayed to Jesus, "It's not REALLY locked!"  Chased JS’s truck down the middle of the street, braless, barefoot, in PJ’s, at 7:30 in the morning.  Knocked on my neighbor’s door to borrow phone while trying not to emit horrible Hobo breath. Neighbor is now convinced we are smelly white trash.  JS giggled and came home to my rescue. 

I shall spend the rest of my morning praying for a less adventurous afternoon AND praying that any footage captured of the above incident is to blurry to post on YouTube.


  1. That is so freaking fantastic!!! Its like when I got locked out of the house in TX on the back porch in only my tee-shirt and panties for and hour before I was able to jimmie the lock with nothing else other than.......a pooper scooper!!! LOVES!

    -G money

  2. This is where we give thanks to the Sweet Baby Jesus for A) pooper scoopers and B) that I had the forsight to wear shorts!

  3. omg well that is funny still beats my week;) im feeling old! xoxo