I learned a valuable lesson this week and I thought I would share it with you guys...
NEVER, EVER yell at your trainer. Ever.
This is about to get real folks. Real graphic. The squeamish should just go ahead and turn away. Quit reading. You've been warned.
Let's start at the beginning...
Wednesday morning I woke with excruciating menstrual cramps. If you can envision having a gut shot wound and intestines spilling out of your body, you might have some idea what was a happenin' to me this past Wednesday. But probably not. So let's move on.
I shot half of a bottle (slight exaggeration) of ibuprofen with my coffee, tequila and protein powder (breakfast of champions) and then hobbled to my 7:30 am appointment with Keith, otherwise known as Satan. Keith used to train professional baseball players so his idea of positive encouragement looks like, "You did a good job today... But I suspect you can do better."
And JS doesn't pay him to be nice to me. So it's almost okay. I'm trying to coach him on his positivity and he's trying to train me to keep my mouth shut. Ha.
Anywho, this Wednesday I started my session by telling Keith that I was 80% certain I would be puking from the pain that was my uterus, and he began our session by throwing up a little bit himself. Then he made me do 8,000 single leg RDL's, band walks and split squats. Things were getting a little tense after the 4th round because I had set a new record for underachievement due to blood loss. Keith's patience was wearing thin and the number of his antagonizing comments was growing large.
I was mostly just dizzy and nauseous in between the black-outs. And getting more irritable by the minute.
After attempting a few Russian leg curls, alternately known as the most painful exercise ever, (Slide your legs under a weight bench, raise your ankles in the air thereby smashing the delicate bits of your calves into the bottom of the weight bench, and then use your legs to hold your body as you lower and raise your chest from the ground) Keith thew it out of the plan due to my increasing belligerence.