Blog Numero Uno
Yo Blogsville! I have arrived. Prepare yourself by buckling your seatbelts, securing your oxygen masks and by all means… Please refrain from screamin’ out like a little girl. It distracts the driver.
(These, coincidentally, are the same instructions I give for riding in my car.)
I Make The Rules…
1. Here after, I shall only be referred to as “Gator.”
My apartment, unfortunately, is much too small to hold all the gifts I would undoubtedly be sent from all my adoring fans ;) And Stalkers make Bella nervous. BTW: For all the would be Stalkers… I have a BUNCH of guns in my house… and one Bear. Her name’s Prada. 2. Please feel free to leave negative feedback elsewhere.
I am certain I will offend someone at sometime (perhaps entire nations of people) and frankly, I don’t give a damn. If obscene language offends, I suggest reading someone else’s blog. Fuck is my most favorite word and I retain the right to use it regularly. On the same note, I expect LOTS of positive feedback, so get busy!
3. One of you must be in charge of defibrillating my Mother.
She probably needs a good ZAP after that last paragraph. I find it enormously funny that the same word I learned from my Mother about 26 years ago has the power to shock her so intensely. I hear this frequently, “Oh Gator! I hope you don’t speak like that in public!” Which really means, “Jesus Christ! I raised a Sailor… I hope this does not reflect too poorly on my Mothering skills…” So Mom. Let me officially take you off the hook. You are NOT responsible for my foul language. The public schools are! Hahaha! Now seriously Mom, read that first part a few more times.
I will try to warn you people of potentially hazardous areas by using the following notation: (MOM- DeFib)
4. Enjoy!
This blog most likely will never be deep or meaningful. This is my creative outlet for the funny ramblings in my head. I do however, hold onto some hope that it will lead to my "Discovery.” Honestly… Who wouldn’t like to sit in their PJ’s all day and write funny things and be paid enormous amounts of money? Who, I ask? Very similar to winning the lottery. A snowflake’s chance in hell, but we all hold hope in our hearts!
